Race Recap: Ragnar Trail Relay – Part 2

Late last week we heard from Rachel’s Runners’ “Team A – No Room for Imposters” member Craig, on his Ragnar Trail Relay – Glenworth Valley experiences. Today in Part 2 of this series, we hear from Team B member, Jodi. Please enjoy her light-hearted rundown of this fabulous event, full of love and laughs for her team mates. 

Ragnar RR Team B Report – No catch cry but we finished first (just saying)…

Some of you may have experienced being nercited (i.e. nervous and excited at the same time), but how many of you have been Ragnard? What is it, you might ask? Well, it’s a combination of feeling run-sore, elated, itchy from little mozzie bites, hungry, sleep-deprived, run-happy, delirious, cranky and traumatised from portapoos, as well as the sound of tent zips opening and closing incessantly, and yet pumped and proud of yourself and your team mates – that is what being Ragnard is!


Start/Finish Chute

The adventure begins with the call out – you know one of those deceptive little Facebook posts you see pop up that says, “Oh hey this looks like FUN (not normal fun, but running fun) who wants to do this?”, and because you have a major case of FOMO, you don’t think twice and you just go, “Yeah, me!” (think of the little emoji with its’ hand up), and before you know it, you are off.

All of a sudden you are in a Facebook Messenger group, freaking out over tent vs swag, hydration pack vs handheld water bottle, chargers for phones and headlamps and Garmins; who is driving and what time and how much space is 20 square metres; what is Team A wearing and do we need a practice run or a meeting 3 months out; will we organise a Princess Palace (hotel room) or not, airbeds and bed pumps, pegs and clothes lines (How long are we going for? Oh yeah, 2 nights or maybe even 1)! This goes on and on and on and you get asked to turn your Garmin off in work meetings due to the buzzing and you start to panic every time you see the little message flag on your phone!!!! And then you just switch off from it all, and go “Ohhhh whatevs…see you there peeps”!

When you finally get to the glorious Glenworth Valley, you are relieved and grateful that your team mates have actually done most of the heavy lifting and there is food, my god there is food – Mrs Noonan’s roast pork, Layla’s fruit cake, Michelle’s banana bread and red wine. You forage around for a while (and by forage I mean hit the merchandise tent, coffee cart and bar), have a chat and settle in for the night (some in the upmarket camping version, the ‘Princess Palace’).

Saturday arrives, and with it the Crispin Family, with awesome rolls and ham and two very good kids; parkrun gets done by some, and then we are off! Team B is led out by Air Pilot Noonan, who unfortunately has a bit of a crash landing, 2 kilometres into his first 6 kilometere loop, but still makes it back and completes the leg, finishing just slightly behind someone from Team A.

Next up, we have the chatterbox of the camp Brett, who honestly does not stop flapping his gums! I do not know how the man runs so fast and can seemingly make no sound when he is just non-stop talking! He sets an awesome pace and then passes on the by now, little-bit-sweaty run belt, to the old Jump Shot Queen herself, Kathy. She makes the 11 kilometre trail look easy as she cruises across the line with a royal wave for all the cheering fans.

Runner 4 is none other than the Spiritual Leader, ‘I-don’t-need-sleep-ever-to-stay-pleasant-and-happy, Rachel Allworth’. Rachel does a cracking job on her first loop (maybe gets a little lost), but hey she was dealing with warring factions back in camp, or so is the Ragnar gossip that was flying about! Rach pitter-patters across the line with her lovely little light steps (which secretly pisses everyone off at how effortless she makes it look, but we never say anything), and hands over to Rip Van Winkle, AKA Michael. He cruises out to an announcement that he is an Instagram King and again like Kathy before him, gives a royal wave and fist pump and off he goes.

Runner 6 (yours truly) is a little stunned when Michael gets back, as she is still unpacking and repacking the Princess Palace bag and it slightly regretful that she did parkrun as its now 700 degrees celcius, and her first loop is 11 kilometres at high noon! She (me) manages to stagger back across the line thanking the almighty that it was only actually 9.66 km and not 11 km and is happy to hand over the race belt to Michelle (I-can-keep-lippy-on-all-day), who truly brings glamour to the team and who has wowed the other Princess Palace chicks with her sewing skills (hurry up on the terry toweling car seat covers thanks Michelle – the Subaru is getting rank already). As Ms Revlon comes back into the tent, last but not least, Captain Fantastic (I-love-a-sleeping-bag-onesie) Layla, charges out for her first loop. Layla is now running in 1000 degree heat and has been waiting all day, but takes off and smashes through her loop in a very quick time.


Team RR Ragnar campsite village by night

Team B are now in fine form and excited for the second round, but alas Pilot Noonan is grounded and cannot run, so while Runner 6 (me) is off buying grog with Ms Revlon, Rip Van Winkle and the Spiritual Leader lose the game of ‘Scissors-Paper-Rock’ and take on Position 1 between them. Pilot Noonan then assumes control of the camp which by now actually looks like a scene out of Platoon, and gets some medical attention from the Spiritual Leader which starts out good, but quite frankly turns very frightening in the next 16 hours or so – imagine blunt scissors and ripped off leg hair!

We make it through the second leg; the evening and night runs much easier than the running-through-Hades-type heat of the day and I think it’s fair to say, most people are keen to try and get some sleep before Round 3. However, try as you might, it’s hard to block out the constant zip-ziiiiip of tent doors, the bloody water buffalos that someone had nearby whom were snoring unbelievably, and I hate to say, the little expulsions of excess gas in the body that were coming out, not to mention someone with a headlamp turned up to SCG brightness, rampaging through camp looking for a party, all making it very hard to catch some shut-eye!

Round 3 begins with the Spiritual Leader taking the Pilot’s place, and although she was rocking the hair braids, she was a little tired, a bit over camping life and ready for sleep when she gets back, but no can do…stay up Rach, cause Chatterbox, and Jump Shot Queen are back before you know it and you are out again! Meanwhile, Rip Van Winkle is up and ready with newly washed hair and ready to go. Runner 6 (I really can’t nickname myself – sorry), is up and is as cranky as a bag of snakes because she has had nooooo sleep, and is envious of Ms Revlon and Captain Onesie who both seem to be sleeping soundly.

Now….Runner 6 takes over from Rip (who later discovered that noodles in a cup are like Stillnox), very happy that she avoided running into the possum and wombat on her final leg. She comes across the line trying not to be a grumpy old bag and tries to put the race belt around Ms Revlon who is as upbeat and happy as ever (even though it’s 04:30 am) and is already asking about the car trip home (way too rested Michelle). She makes it back, and finally just on day break Captain Onesie takes off and brings it home with a very fine 11 km loop – in the rain and cold I might add! She comes across to the rousing applause of the team (minus Rip who is chucking out zees like there is no tomorrow), and we take our bling in position 19.


Team B runners receive their medals

By this time, we are well and truly Ragnard! It’s raining, it’s cold, and we need to pack up and go home. You know you are in great company when you feel like ripping people’s faces off due to lack of sleep, but instead you laugh along at stuff that is really not funny at all, and pretty much walk in circles while Pilot Noonan on a seriously busted ankle does a lot of the heavy lifting!

We depart for home around 10 am-ish and support each other on the drive back (car buddies are a must). We then send lovely shots of each other over Messenger looking awesome (some more awesome than others – Ms Revlon), and we spend quite a bit of time lamenting how much the weekend has taken out of us. BUT, within days we are planning how we will do it better next year and there are lots more little FOMO hands in the air wanting to join the adventure.

I haven’t spoken about the other Rachel’s Runners’ team that were there because God knows they talked themselves up enough…only kidding – they were just tops too! In all seriousness, although we were running in two teams, we were really only one family of runners – Rachel’s Runners – and I would not have it any other way.

Did Rachel’s Runners do Ragnar or did Ragnar do Rachel’s Runners? I know I felt pretty F****D after it so it might have been the later, either way we got it done and I am glad we did.

This report is written in good humour. I was nominated by the team, so if I have offended any one of you I sincerely apologise, and I was going to send it for editing but I just ran out of time – please forgive me, I was probably catching up on sleep!

Over and out – Runner 6 xxx

Written by Jodi Dickson



About Rachel Allworth (112 Articles)
Owner & Coach - Rachel's Runners

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